Say why, do we have to say goodbye?
There’s an old Girl Scout song we sing here sometimes that goes:
Say when, will we ever meet again
Say when, will we ever meet again
Say when, will we ever meet again
Say when, my friend, say when
Say where, and I’ll meet you right there
Say where, and I’ll meet you right there
Say where, and I’ll meet you right there
Say where, my friend, say where
Say why, do we have to say goodbye…
And so on.
It’s a real question though. Why do we have to say goodbye? I leave Sangam today. Our final event also finishes today; we have been hosting a WAGGGS Leadership Development Programme seminar on the environment, which has meant that a Planning Team gathered from around the world lead all the sessions (we have 46 people here from 39 different countries), and we SVs carry tables and make photocopies. This is fine, though, because I have been trying to cram all of my end-of-season tasks into this event–make a logbook page, empty my individual folder, steal photos from Sangam’s hard drive, and…well, say goodbye. Here at Sangam we have compliment books, where we write nice notes to each other whenever we feel like it. We also use them to write our goodbye messages. So I have a stack of twenty-odd books on my desk, which I need to write goodbye in.
I am scared to go home. I am afraid of the reverse culture shock–both transferring from the developing world back to the developed world, and the culture shock of realizing that people don’t discuss important issues or talk about major global needs all the time, every day. Nobody at home knows what the MDGs are. None of my friends from home have attended U.N. conferences. None of them are Girl Scouts, which has never felt so lonely before. I am overwhelmed by the process of explanation and storytelling ahead of me, already exhausted by what I know will happen–nobody will want to hear about India anymore, about how my life and priorities have changed, and I will have to wrestle with these issues on my own, or risk being that girl who begins every sentence with, “When I was in India…”
Luckily, I don’t have to worry entirely about no longer contributing to global needs and major issues. I got a job, for an NGO, back in New York. I start on April 2nd. I will be the Communications and Marketing Assistant for EngenderHealth. They work for women’s reproductive and sexual health in Africa, Asia and the Americas, both on the clinical and the advocacy sides of things. I am really thrilled that I can go home but continue to make a difference in the world. I know it will be a big change to begin work at an office, a place where I can’t lie on the floor when I’m tired, or cut paper out with the funny shapes scissors, or shout and dance around the room when someone is stressed and needs cheering up. And it will be a change to go from a residential workplace, where my coworkers are my friends and family; instead, I will be commuting to an office. I am preparing myself for this adjustment. But I am looking forward to using my writing skills and my organizational abilities full-time, and to adding my voice to this really important agenda.
There is too much to process. Too much to think about. I will leave you with a song my friend Steph has been playing over and over again:
you are a truly beautiful girl, with a huge heart and i wish you all the luck and best wishes for the future and would love to know the tune of your top song? as it sounds like something I should but don’y know…..
Safe travelling and i’m sure I’ll see you in my guiding life again xx
Thank you Rosey! That means so much to me. I am also sure our paths will cross again, and I will try to find a good YouTube video or clip of the song somewhere, and send it to you!
I definitely had “You should have seen it in India” syndrome when I left the last time. People will understand, never fear. And sharing your experience is an important part of being an SV! Go forth and do great things, dear.
Thanks Emily. You are the best. And it’s true! I need to go play the SV presentation so many times I start to hate the Bollywood songs in it…hahaha…
Jessica. It’s not goodbye. It’s just see you later, chat to you soon and when the hell are we meeting up again?!
The world is a much smaller place than it used to be, and you’ll keep in touch with those who mean the most to you, no matter how far they are physically, because they are only two seconds away virtually.
Also, that song is beautiful.
Thanks Net. You’re the best, and you always make me laugh. (When the hell ARE we meeting up again? Soon, I hope! Now that I’ll have a real salary I can actually plan to go places!) And you know–it’s scary how right you are! I just Skyped home to Sangam from the Zurich airport, and took part in a “Greased Lightnin’” dance party in the Programme Room from my seat in the terminal. Crazy, right?
Miss you! Love you!
Jessica – I appreciate your concerns about culture shock as you make a leap between contexts – from the global South to New York. However, I think you will be pleasantly surprised by the fact that so many of us are New Yorkers with strong ties back ‘home”…whether it be Delhi, Seoul, Bogota or Sao Paulo. I promise that you will not want for global sensibility. If you ever yearn for the flavors of India, rest assured that they can be found only a few subway stops away. Enjoy the rest of your adventure…in the interim, I look forward to welcoming you to New York.
Thanks Lissette! And thanks for reading! It’s great to read your comment, sitting here in Zurich halfway home, and to be reminded of how awesome it is that I will still be working somewhere so internationally-minded. Of course, I knew that–it’s one of the reasons I applied to work and am so excited to be starting at EngenderHealth–but it’s wonderful to hear it “in person,” so to speak. As hard as it is to say goodbye to India and my friends there, I am definitely looking forward to my next adventure back in New York…and will absolutely be taking the subway to find myself some biryani when the craving calls!
Best of luck with the next adventure… And you can still cut things out with funny scissors. And cheer people up by dancing. And the space underneath your desk will make a great place for a fort. You can sleep there during lunch breaks too… Huge hugs and big deep breaths. Ciao!
I never thought of under the desk as a potential fort! You’re the best Sara. Thank you for commenting, I needed your optimism and your good cheer! I hope your adventure is still going well. I’m in Switzerland right now–just one line on the map away from you! The world is so small!
Lots of love, let’s catch up soon, while we’re both in places with decent Internet.